Play the lottery
You should really run out to the store to buy a Mega Millions ticket. I can’t think of an easier way to make several million dollars, other than sending someone else to the store to pick up the ticket for you. I really feel like this drawing is the one. It’s that same feeling I have on the first Thursday of March Madness each year, when I invariably pick Syracuse as the...
Get a rescue dog
If you’ve been following my advice, you’re already unemployed (or as I’m calling it, employed-ish). This leaves you approximately 10 hours/day with no one to have non-Gchat convos with, other than employees at restaurants and stores that you can no longer afford (sorry). You totally need a dog. Dogs are like people, in the sense that you can have full conversations...
Quit your job
I’ve been funemployed for a little over a week now, and things could not be better. Sure, the majority of my daytime conversations are with my dog, and sure, there were a couple days last week that I didn’t change out of my pajamas - but really, is that so much worse than counting down the seconds until closing time? I suppose that depends on if your definition of worse is...