Advice...unsolicited

Don’t Become a Hot Dog Stripper

As I was reading through CNN this morning, I was faced with a decision.  Do I read an article about the decrease in gas prices and mortgage rates, or do I watch a video entitled “Hot Dog Stripper Goes Back To Work?”

This was not exactly Sophie’s Choice.  Hot Dog Stripper for the win (and they say American’s don’t care about the news!).

Please do take the time to watch this train wreck unfold, and then we shall discuss.

This story has it all.  Drama.  Blurred out middle aged nudity.  Uncomfortable squriming reporters.  An open cry for help to child services.  A Hot Dog Stripper candidly defining the difference between stripping and prostitution. A portrait of the effect of meth on society.  Hot Dogs.

To sum it up: how did I not know this existed?  Sure, this was only posted today, but Catherina Scalia was also charged with prostitution out of a hot dog truck 8 years ago!  8 years!  In the past 8 years, I’ve made at LEAST 20 trips to New York, and not ONCE did anyone tell me I had to check out the Hot Dog Stripper (also known as the Hot Dog Hooker, but I’ll take Scalia’s (quoted) word for it when she says “I plead guilty to stipper.  Stripper.  Not prostitution.”

Beyond that - 8 Sundances have gone by without me submitted a documentary on the Hot Dog Hooker (Sorry, Ms Scalia - for the purposes of title alliteration I’m going to have to use that as my working title.  I’ll still take your word on your scope of services).  Are you kidding me?  Everyone hears their callings at different times - perhaps all I needed was the Hot Dog Stripper to hear my calling of being a documentarian.  Or a hot dog vendor.  Callings are tricky to analyze.

In all seriousness, I love hot dogs, and have taken enough cardio pole dancing classes to appreciate strippers, but I’m going to give a “no girl no” to this Catherina Scalia and her whole situation.  There are successful food truck business models that don’t involve lap dances and other questionable services, which would mean less risk of prison time for this mom (Right - just wanted to make sure you caught that: this is a mother).  And, although I haven’t psychologically treated Ms Scalia (gleaning that verbiage disclaimers I read in US Weekly), based on my years of experience watching Intervention, I’m going to say we’re looking at meth, crack and/or black tar heroin addiction.

Which brings me to another bit of unsolicited advice we can take from this: don’t do (those) drugs.

I will give credit where credit is due, though.  In all my years working in marketing and PR, I have never heard a slogan as memorable as “get a little wiggle with your wiener.”  If the mobile food distribution business doesn’t work out for you, I’m pretty sure my old job is still open.  Happy to make an intro!