Advice...unsolicited

Very few people ask for my advice. They are really missing out. All of this is about to change.

Move your car. Now.

       


We’ve all done it.  Maybe after a grocery shopping trip, a long day of work or a workout/steam room trip to the gym.  We’ve parked our car on the side of the street where street cleaning will happen the next morning, and we’ve vowed that we’ll move it after putting the groceries away, dinner, just relaxing for a few minutes, an episode of Law & Order (just me?) or taking the dog out for a walk.

But we never move it, do we?  It is as though clicking the lock button on the car immediately erases the task from our mental to do list, and it’s all but forgotten until 30 seconds after the ticket has been issued to your lone, idiotic looking car: the only one on that side of the street.

File this under the same importance as writing down every genius idea you have as soon as you have it:  just move.  the car.  NOW.

Street cleaning parking tickets, in my neighborhood anyway, are $68.  I’m not entirely convinced they even clean the streets twice each week (seems like overkill), but what is more certain than the presence of the actual street cleaner is the street cleaning ticket.  You can’t even write them off at the end of the year (I’ve tried), even if you work from home and count it as the cost of your “office” parking lot (again, I’ve tried).

Move your car.  If you don’t: it will look for you, it will find you, and it will kill you…r wallet.

To make up for my lack of advice this week (I was sick.  Unsolicited advice: don’t get sick.), let’s make this a two for one advice deal.  If you didn’t move your car: Pay.  The ticket.  NOW.

Yes, I know it’s due in 21 days.  Yes, I’m sure if you just keep it sitting on the passenger side seat of the car, or taped to the fridge, or to the side of your computer, you’ll remember to pay it just before it’s due.  Only, you won’t. Until 30 seconds after the grace period is over and the ticket has doubled. And now you’re paying $136 for not moving your car a quarter of a mile down the street when you had a chance.

This happens to me, on average, once a month (I rarely take my own advice).  I’ve yet to get the boot (knock on wood), and I shudder to think what that would cost.

But boot or no boot: $136/month?!  What is wrong with me?  Think of all that I could be doing with $136/month.  At the very least, I could have just put that monthly life tax toward a nicer apartment that would have another covered parking spot and everything.

So just move your car now.  And pay the outstanding tickets now.  Procrastination should only cost one the accomplishment of achieving lofty life goals, like writing novels or having flat abs.  Not an additional $136/month.

      

       

  1. adviceunsolicited posted this